23.10.06

Jacked at gunpoint.

I was in Nashville, Tennessee, about a week after being kidnapped and taken there by the girl I was dating at the time. The two of us were sitting on the top of a hill where a cellphone tower stood, looking down at the city lights as the sun was setting. We had been sitting there for about ten minutes when three large black men jogged up to where we were sitting. They were dressed casually in shorts and t-shirts, breathing heavily from their run, and were friendly as hell.

"How you guys doing?" one of them asked, shaking our hands.

"Good."

"What are you guys up to tonight?" he asked.

"Just hanging out."

The three men walked away for a few moments and talked amongst themselves. I was almost positive they were going to offer us weed. When they walked back over to where we were sitting, the one who had spoken to us before crouched down beside us.

"Now here's the deal," he said, showing us a gun he was holding, "I need money."

My immediate thought was, Godfuckingdamnit, motherfucking cocksuckers! I knew the chances of us actually getting shot were incredibly low, so I wasn't scared, but I also knew I was going to have to give them what little money I had, and that was just annoying as hell. I looked at the girl, and she was obviously completely terrified, but I hoped my casual demeanor would convince her that we weren't really in much danger.

I sighed and pulled my wallet out. As I handed it to the guy with the gun, I asked if I could at least keep my ID. I knew that would be the hardest thing to replace.

"How much is in here?" he asked, not answering my question.

"About forty bucks," I said. I was jobless and bummy at the time, and carried absolutely all of my money with me, but luckily I had stashed most of it in my backpack, which was still in the car. He took the money out and threw the wallet back on the ground where I was sitting. I was relieved that I would get to keep my drivers license, but moments after throwing it down, another one of those douchebags picked it back up.

My girl had money in a couple of her pockets, and they searched her, saying, "Don't play no games, we don't want anybody to have to get killed." I had a brief, horrifying thought that they might try to get other forms of gratification out of her, but fortunately nothing of the sort transpired. They were smart enough to know they needed to get what they were after and leave as quickly as possible. They took her money, cellphone, and cigarettes, and then asked me if I had anything else.

"I have some chapstick and a yo-yo," I told them. Unlike the next time I got robbed, they let me keep my chapstick.

"None of ya'll move until we say so!" one of them said as they ran off. We waited a few minutes and left. She called her dad, who said we'd have to file a report with the police, even though both of us were convinced that it would be completely useless. On the way to his place, where we were going to meet the cops, I called one of my friends.

"Dude," I told him, "You'll never believe what happened. We got fucking jacked at gunpoint! It was such a fucking thrill!"

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