12.7.06

FTD completely sucks.

I hate the very idea of buying flowers. You buy them, you look at them for a while, and then you throw them away when they die. Unfortunately, girls are trained from a very young age to want "romance," which often translates into blatant materialism: they want useless, expensive rocks, or they want useless, expensive plants that will die not long after they are acquired. Until this point, I have resisted ever buying flowers for the most part, but I finally gave in and ordered my girlfriend some useless, expensive roses to commemorate our third anniversary. I kept asking her if I could buy her something that does anything, but she was bent on the useless, "romantic" stuff. I didn't want to buy them, but I wanted to make her happy.

I ordered her some flowers from FTD.COM. They were scheduled to arrive yesterday, July 11, which is the day that they are meant to commemorate. When I was placing my order, they even asked for her phone number, which implied that should there be any trouble reaching her, they would call.

The flowers never showed up. They never called. They never left a note.

I looked at their website, and it said that if the recipient is unavailable, they may leave it in a safe place or they may attempt to deliver it the next day. That would be fine, but it should have been stated on the order page. This isn't the kind of crap you order and receive whenever it arrives, this is the kind of crap you order to be delivered on a specific day. What really pisses me off is the fact that they ask for the recipient's phone number, which implies more effort on their part to make the delivery on time.

This morning, I took a look at my confirmation email and clicked on the customer support link. I filled out a delivery inquiry request. A few minutes later I got an email saying they received and processed my order, scheduled for delivery on the 11th, and they would let me know when they received delivery confirmation. Gee, thanks.

About an hour after the email, the flowers showed up in a soggy box.

"The bottom is really wet, so don't put it on carpet or anything," the delivery lady told me.

Flowers are a perishable item. A very expensive perishable item. A company in the business of selling silly sentimental shit knows that the people receiving it are sentimental about particular dates. One day late is not only the wrong day, it's one day less that she can enjoy her flowers before they die.

FTD sucks. If you want flowers delivered, look in your phone book. There's a flower store down the street from my place, but I'm such a lazy bastard I just used the internet. I've learned my lesson, though. I'll never buy anything from FTD again.

4 comments:

Lew said...

I hate giving a girl flowers. You never know how she's going to react. I've seen various occasions where they show them to everyone they know as if to brag, someone likes me enough to give me flowers, and yet they make it a point never to speak to you again because you like them enough to give them flowers. Who wants to be with someone who likes them?

FARfetched said...

I buy Mrs. Fetched live plants. They usually last a lot longer, especially the ones that can live outside.

Anonymous said...

perhaps groupon should've been paying better attention to all of the ftd complaints, before having to refund over three thousand people due to ftd's after-Valentine's Day delivery and hiked up prices. FTD displayed higher prices for specifically Groupon customers, increased from their regular ones. for some humor...more from wacktrap

http://www.wacktrap.com/services/flower-companies/groupon-customers-cry-ripoff-false-advertising-complaints-mean-ftd-refunds

Anonymous said...

I used FTD.com and what a disaster! Not delivered on the day promised with ridiculous service fees - and you call and get a call center in India where you cant understand a word they are saying. STAY AWAY FROM FTD - Horrible and no recourse to resolve problems with customer service