Blogs I'd like to see.

I'm a big fan of the NEXT BLOG button. I sometimes spend hours clicking it, looking for gold. I mostly only find garbage, but occasionally I get the good stuff. The cool thing about blogs is anybody in the world can make one, but the bad thing about blogs is anybody in the world can make one. There are such a ridiculous amount of possibilities, so I always have to wonder why I see the same stuff over and over. I gave it some thought, and I realized there are a few blogs I'd like to see, but I never do.

Maybe somebody can start a blog where they copy and paste a paragraph from an online news article, and then have a link to the same article. Maybe they can do this every day, for every news story. That would be awesome. That way, I wouldn't have to go directly to a news site, I could just check the blog, and then click on the links to the news.

Something similar could be done with YouTube videos. It could be exactly like a playlist on YouTube, except it could be a blog, so I wouldn't be limited to having one video per window. That would rock my socks so hard, because only idiots watch just one video at a time.

Or maybe somebody could start a political blog. I seriously have no idea why I never see these. I'm not easily swayed, but if there's one guy I can trust when it comes to the politics, it's some anonymous dude on the internet. Preferably one who swears. Politics + swearing = a great read. I know political people use the internet, too, so I'm sure a blog like this is bound to appear at some point.

I don't use MySpace, so it'd be nice if occasionally I could click NEXT BLOG and experience the world of illiterate attention whoredom through a blog with nothing to offer other than photos, surveys like "What kind of potato chip am I?", and informative essays like, "OMG jimmy iz sooo hott LOL BBQ!!!1!!!11" Maybe somebody can make some templates for these kids, so they can have really snazzy looking layouts completely devoid of content. Oh, oh, and password protection! That would be awesome if I clicked NEXT BLOG and since I didn't know the password I got sent to some other, non-blog site. It would make me feel like I was in a spy movie or something. It's a great idea, too, because it's important to make sure that no random people on the internet are able to read the survey you filled out listing your favorite soft drinks and hat size.

I've never been a religious guy, but maybe I would change my mind if I stumbled upon a blog that was nothing but entry after entry of thanks and praise to our Lord, the almighty Creator of everything. Maybe some damnation, too. If some person on the internet told me I was going to go to hell, I just might change my ways. Quotes from a holy book are good, too, because then I'll know it's definitely all got to be true.

Maybe somebody should start a blog that doesn't really have anything but a blurb about some random thing, and then links to places where you can buy said random thing. I bet if roughly half the blogs on the internet were like this, everybody who had one would be making a shit load of money. I know for a fact that every time I'm looking for a product to buy, I Google it, ignore the links at the top leading me to the product, and instead look for a blog entry that will lead me to those same sites. I've also been looking for a credit card lately, so it would be really nice if a blog would be kind enough to offer me one.

I know I've said some harsh things about celebrity news in the past, but maybe if it was in blog form I'd be interested. Sadly, I've never seen such a blog.

People should put porn on blogs, too. I mean, I can't get it absolutely anywhere else on the internet. It would be really good if it came up while I was clicking NEXT BLOG while at work.

Lastly, I think somebody should come up with an awesome little banner to stick in the corner that renders the NEXT BLOG button completely useless. Maybe it could say something like END DEATH or I SUPPORT CHILDREN, and then it would totally make a huge difference in the world.

Blogs of note.

I've been hitting the 'NEXT BLOG' button repeatedly over the last few days, and I've come to the conclusion that I find most blogs to be incredibly boring. I click past all the knitting blogs, religious blogs, political blogs, blogs in languages I don't speak, and blogs about the mundane details of peoples' lives. I won't say that these blogs are bad, they're just not up my alley.

There are bad blogs out there, though. The html scams intended to get search hits and collect the ad revenue are kind of annoying. I really despise the MySpace-style illiterate attention-whore blogs. They're like PDF files: landmines of the internet. I usually spend about a second at each blog before I click next, but when these pages come up they hog up all the memory with extensive and obtrusive graphics (but zero actual content) and I'm forced to spend a few seconds waiting for the computer to catch up. I really preferred the internet of my high school days, when idiots couldn't figure out how to get online, much less have their own page on the web, and you had to be at least somewhat of a nerd to stick something on the internet. It guaranteed a certain level of quality, as your average illiterate person was unable to figure out how to get their incoherent ramblings onto the web.

Short rant aside, after clicking through hundreds of blogs, I have found three that are genuinely enjoyable:

The 4th Avenue Blues is a blog about the author's interactions with various homeless people where he lives. I've befriended a couple of homeless people, which may contribute to my appreciation for this blog, but the writing is good and the stories are interesting. I think a lot of people try to imagine they're invisible or don't exist, but I'm always wondering about them.

Behind the Counter is a blog about working the returns counter at Wal-Mart. I hate to say it, but sometimes stupid people are very entertaining. The author documents his encounters with layaway addicts, scammers, and foolish Wal-Mart shoppers of all stripes.

YOU'RE WALKING TO DENVER!? is "a blog following the wanderings of an anarchist drop-out." This is the closest thing I've found in the blogosphere to the punk zines that used to occupy so much of my time. This guy is walking/hitch-hiking from (I'm guessing) Arlington, TX to Denver, CO, and documenting his adventures on the way. This is fascinating to me because it reminds me of myself before I stopped being so idealistic, sold-out, washed the glue out of my hair and got a job. I picked up a similar character who was hitch-hiking years ago, and thought he was a great and inspirational guy. I ended up accidentally leaving him in a town when I got lost trying to find where I let him out to look for his friend while I got gas. I still feel horrible about that, even though he was homeless. I always wanted to go on an adventure like this, but the closest I've ever come was a mere 20 mile journey. (Short version: I went to a party, got kicked out for being way too hammered, and then tried to walk home but was too drunk to realize where I was. I went the wrong way, and by the time I sobered up I realized I had no clue where I was. Nobody would pick me up because I was a filthy, spikey-haired punk rocker, and when I finally realized where I was, I was way the fuck out of my way.)

In other blog news, my good friend Lew has started a blog of his own, and I've started another one, full of nothing but blatant lies.

The Ramones and Rancid

Alright, looks like I'm gonna give this blogging thing a try. We'll see how it goes.

Here's the Ramones doing 53rd and 3rd with Rancid.