Blogs I'd like to see.

I'm a big fan of the NEXT BLOG button. I sometimes spend hours clicking it, looking for gold. I mostly only find garbage, but occasionally I get the good stuff. The cool thing about blogs is anybody in the world can make one, but the bad thing about blogs is anybody in the world can make one. There are such a ridiculous amount of possibilities, so I always have to wonder why I see the same stuff over and over. I gave it some thought, and I realized there are a few blogs I'd like to see, but I never do.

Maybe somebody can start a blog where they copy and paste a paragraph from an online news article, and then have a link to the same article. Maybe they can do this every day, for every news story. That would be awesome. That way, I wouldn't have to go directly to a news site, I could just check the blog, and then click on the links to the news.

Something similar could be done with YouTube videos. It could be exactly like a playlist on YouTube, except it could be a blog, so I wouldn't be limited to having one video per window. That would rock my socks so hard, because only idiots watch just one video at a time.

Or maybe somebody could start a political blog. I seriously have no idea why I never see these. I'm not easily swayed, but if there's one guy I can trust when it comes to the politics, it's some anonymous dude on the internet. Preferably one who swears. Politics + swearing = a great read. I know political people use the internet, too, so I'm sure a blog like this is bound to appear at some point.

I don't use MySpace, so it'd be nice if occasionally I could click NEXT BLOG and experience the world of illiterate attention whoredom through a blog with nothing to offer other than photos, surveys like "What kind of potato chip am I?", and informative essays like, "OMG jimmy iz sooo hott LOL BBQ!!!1!!!11" Maybe somebody can make some templates for these kids, so they can have really snazzy looking layouts completely devoid of content. Oh, oh, and password protection! That would be awesome if I clicked NEXT BLOG and since I didn't know the password I got sent to some other, non-blog site. It would make me feel like I was in a spy movie or something. It's a great idea, too, because it's important to make sure that no random people on the internet are able to read the survey you filled out listing your favorite soft drinks and hat size.

I've never been a religious guy, but maybe I would change my mind if I stumbled upon a blog that was nothing but entry after entry of thanks and praise to our Lord, the almighty Creator of everything. Maybe some damnation, too. If some person on the internet told me I was going to go to hell, I just might change my ways. Quotes from a holy book are good, too, because then I'll know it's definitely all got to be true.

Maybe somebody should start a blog that doesn't really have anything but a blurb about some random thing, and then links to places where you can buy said random thing. I bet if roughly half the blogs on the internet were like this, everybody who had one would be making a shit load of money. I know for a fact that every time I'm looking for a product to buy, I Google it, ignore the links at the top leading me to the product, and instead look for a blog entry that will lead me to those same sites. I've also been looking for a credit card lately, so it would be really nice if a blog would be kind enough to offer me one.

I know I've said some harsh things about celebrity news in the past, but maybe if it was in blog form I'd be interested. Sadly, I've never seen such a blog.

People should put porn on blogs, too. I mean, I can't get it absolutely anywhere else on the internet. It would be really good if it came up while I was clicking NEXT BLOG while at work.

Lastly, I think somebody should come up with an awesome little banner to stick in the corner that renders the NEXT BLOG button completely useless. Maybe it could say something like END DEATH or I SUPPORT CHILDREN, and then it would totally make a huge difference in the world.


Orhan Kahn said...

"The cool thing about blogs is anybody in the world can make one, but the bad thing about blogs is anybody in the world can make one."

So very true.

I'm also a big fan of the 'Next Blog' button. It's how I found yours.

Liz said...

i appreciate your bitterness

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