Bling-bling at the drive through.

There's this guy who works the window at a nearby fast wood restaurant. Every time he hands me my food, I can't help but notice the massive 'diamond' earing in his ear. It's so shiny, there's no way a person couldn't see it if they look in his general direction. Every time I see it, I wonder who he thinks he's fooling.

Jewelry generally serves no real purpose, with the exception to the rule being widely-used items like super secret decoder rings or the more common time-keeping device. Most necklaces, rings, and earrings, particularly pieces with precious metals and gemstones, serve no purpose other than conspicuous consumption. People wear bits of shiny expensive stuff so that people know that either that the wearer is rich enough to throw money away on rocks, or that somebody cares enough about the wearer to throw away money on rocks. In the case of males wearing monster rocks in their ear, the former is more likely.

Suppose this guy has a real giant diamond in his ear. Working part time for minimum wage, he would probably have to work his ass off for a year to get that thing. Is that what he wants to imply? That he's capable of working incredibly hard simply to be able to say, in the end, that he he was able to buy a rock? Does that get you chicks? Or does he want to imply that he has a side business, perhaps selling drugs or some other high-profit activity? If that was the case, why the fuck would he be handing people greasy bags of french fries? It's more likely that his earring is a dirt-cheap cubic zirconium that he bought with less than a week's pay, but that just leads me to wonder who he thinks he's fooling. I think he's one of those guys who doesn't mind girls who are stupid as hell, because one would have to be pretty dull to be impressed by a fake diamond from a guy who's asking if they want fries with that. I've always been under the impression that if you give a girl a diamond, and it's fake, she will be mad at you, despite the fact that it looks the same and serves the same function. Maybe there's a double-standard I'm unaware of, and the ladies find fake precious stones more appealing when it's the men wearing them.

I guess it's possible that a guy working for minimum wage in the service industry is only wearing bling-bling because of his love of hip-hop culture in general. After all, most gangsta rap fans are not gangstas, even the ones who go to great lengths to look like they are.

But I still think it's fucking stupid.

1 comment:

Lew said...

One time I was going through the drivethough at wendys. I had a new car I'd bought that year, and I just got it washed at this new car was they put in. It's one of those new ones that seems like it's a mile long and gets your car super shiny. I ordered a value meal and pulled around. I was in a suit and tie from being at work and all I had was a $100. Now I don't know what I was doing with a hundred dollar bill, but that's all I had at the time. So there's this young kid who looked like your drivethrough guy, completely decked out in symbols of hip hop culture. Anyway, I hand him the hundred. He looks at the bill, the suit, the car, and starts screaming. WHOAH!!!! WHOAAAAAAH!!! BIG BALLA! WE GOT A BIG BALLA HERE!!! As if this isn't bad enough, then he starts calling all these other people who worked there to check out the big baller. I can't remember what all they were saying, but all I wanted was my food. One young lady said "daaaaaamm, this is a nice ride" or some such. Finally after making a big fuss I had my food and I was on my way. I didn't mean to come off as a big baller or nothing, It was just a set of horrifying coincidences. If my car was dirty as it usually is, I wouldn't have been noticed. If I hadn't been at work with a suit on, I wouldn't have been attention worthy. And if I'd had a $10 on me, I wouldn't have this crazy story to tell. It's much better in person when I can immitate the voices.