14.6.06

The fake crack.

In second grade, I found some coursely ground salt in the pantry and decided to convince my classmates that it was crack. I knew what crack was supposed to look like from drug awareness ads and the like, and I thought the salt looked close enough, though perhaps a bit small. I put some into a clear plastic bag, like I had always seen it pictured. When I brought in on the bus, I waited until everyone was aboard before I pulled it out.

"Look," I said, "I have crack."

Everybody looked at me incredulously. The general consensus seemed to be that I didn't actually have crack. I decided to prove them wrong. The problem was that I had no idea how crack was used, nor what its effects would be on the user.

I opened the bag, pulled out a pinch of the fancy salt, and put it in my mouth, trying not to visibly cringe as it overpowered my taste buds. I chewed it up and swallowed it.

"Yeah," I said, "This is some good crack."

2 comments:

Britmum said...

How funny and naughty at the same time. My 10 year old is so serious about anything to do with drugs and smoking which is a good thing I am guessing. I guess what a mother doesn't know doesn't hurt.

Chez said...

That made me fucking laugh out loud. And not in the LOL, idiot teenaged way. Thanks. Here's to true subversion.