The fake crack.

In second grade, I found some coursely ground salt in the pantry and decided to convince my classmates that it was crack. I knew what crack was supposed to look like from drug awareness ads and the like, and I thought the salt looked close enough, though perhaps a bit small. I put some into a clear plastic bag, like I had always seen it pictured. When I brought in on the bus, I waited until everyone was aboard before I pulled it out.

"Look," I said, "I have crack."

Everybody looked at me incredulously. The general consensus seemed to be that I didn't actually have crack. I decided to prove them wrong. The problem was that I had no idea how crack was used, nor what its effects would be on the user.

I opened the bag, pulled out a pinch of the fancy salt, and put it in my mouth, trying not to visibly cringe as it overpowered my taste buds. I chewed it up and swallowed it.

"Yeah," I said, "This is some good crack."


Britmum said...

How funny and naughty at the same time. My 10 year old is so serious about anything to do with drugs and smoking which is a good thing I am guessing. I guess what a mother doesn't know doesn't hurt.

Chez said...

That made me fucking laugh out loud. And not in the LOL, idiot teenaged way. Thanks. Here's to true subversion.