Learning to swear.

My preschool had a massive playground behind it. Along one side of it, a tall fence separated the playground from an alley, where classfulls of older kids could regularly be seen being escorted somewhere by their teacher.

I had been hanging out with this kid who was bigger and older than I was. He always had a thick trail of snot leading from his nostrils to his gap-toothed mouth.

"Come on," he told me one day, "Let me show you something!"

He brought me to the fence, where we could see a class of students moving through the alley. He put his face up to the fence.

"Fucking assholes! You fucking assholes!" he yelled. I had never heard the term, but I started shouting it with him.

A few weeks later, I was hanging out with a different kid.

"Come on," I told him, "Let me show you something!"

Wanting my turn to be the cool kid, I lead him to the fence and started calling all the kids fucking assholes. He looked at me like I was crazy and refused to partake in the exercise.

At the end of the procession of kids, their teacher scolded me.

"That's not nice," she said.

I honestly didn't realize I wasn't supposed to yell "You fucking assholes!" at a bunch of older kids. The look on her face when she told me it wasn't nice made me feel bad, and I slunk away from the fence. I never did that again.

1 comment:

Doug said...

I think I learned the cussing precursors like crap in first grade. I took it up a notch to the likes of shit and damn in second grade.